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Dan Savage once observed that “most adult bisexuals, for whatever reason, wind up in opposite-sex relationships.” Whether or not you’re a fan of Savage (or his sometimes dubious takes on bisexuality), the statistics support his assertion: The massive 2013 Pew Research LGBT Survey found 84 percent of self-identified bisexuals in committed relationships have a partner of the opposite sex, while only 9 percent are in same-sex relationships. Because on the surface, the fact that 84 percent of bisexuals eventually wind up in opposite-sex partnerships could appear to support the notion that bisexuality is, as people so often insist, actually either “just a phase” or a stepping-stone on the path to “full-blown gayness.” Knowing that wasn’t true, I decided to investigate.

Some of my initial suppositions included internalized homophobia, fear of community and family rejection, and concerns over physical safety.

(Three years later, the same show shamed a male character for being uncomfortable with the fact that his fiancée had once hooked up with another woman.)On Loveline, Rose did express some concern that a bisexual male partner would naturally gravitate toward sex with men and, therefore, have trouble remaining loyal.Other Reddit users noticed divergences between men and women when it comes to showing how they really feel and how to deal with conflict.One wrote: 'The girls I've dated have actually been significantly quicker to tell me when somethings (sic) wrong. Another said that men were more likely to give up in disagreements, than women - particularly if they're petty.When I started dating a woman for the first time after years of happily dating men, I had a go-to joke ready for when I was called upon to explain my sexual orientation to the confused: “I’m half gay.Only on my mom’s side of the family.” I’m one of those people who’d always misguidedly “hated labels,” and I actively eschewed the term “bisexual” for years.

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